I realize that teaching at an international school is a unique experience in which I have the opportunity to come into contact with cultures from various parts of the world. ICS is primarily made up of students from the following countries: Thailand, Korea, India, and the US, albeit not making it terribly diverse, yet uniquely different from the schools that I worked at back in the states.
I had an interesting conversation with my AP Spanish students the other day, which is made up of 3 Indian students and 1 Korean student. We were discussing a story that involved a mother and her 4 daughters, and a family tradition where the youngest daughter was not allowed to get married and instead, was supposed to take care of her aging mother until her death. The youngest daughter in the story wanted to get married/had a prospective suitor, but due to the deep family tradition, she couldn't marry. When her suitor came to talk to the mother about marrying her, her mother told him "no," but also offered him one of her older daughters. The suitor decided to marry the other daughter because it was the only way in which he could be close to the one he actually loved.
The story stirred up a lot of emotion from my students as to what to do in that situation as the youngest daughter, the suitor, the mother, the older daughter, etc., about their own family traditions, about marriage, about rights vs. obedience, about parental involvement, etc. It was quite interesting to hear all of their thoughts and opinions, but what was most interesting to me was that I learned that one of my Indian students will have an arranged marriage. So we extensively discussed arranged marriage, their opinions, the pros and cons, and whether they would prefer to have an arranged marriage or not. Surprisingly, all four of my students would prefer an arranged marriage and think it's a great idea because they feel that their parents know them best and they would do a good job of picking out potential suitors, and because fewer arranged marriages end in divorce than traditional "pick out your own mate" marriages.
Now granted, I went into this conversation having one idea of arranged marriage, and came out having two different ideas of what arranged marriage is due to my students, particularly the one who will have an arranged marriage:
1. Arranged marriage is where the parents pick out one suitor for you and you must marry them. Sometimes you may not meet or see that person until the wedding.
2. Arranged marriage is where the parents pick out several potentially good suitors for you (based on religion, personality, the caste system, family connections and name, etc.) and you go out with them, and then choose the one you would like to marry. If there aren't any suitors that you care for, your parents will pick out new suitors and the process continues. I guess it's not all that different from the reality TV shows, "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette," now is it?
Anyway, I had a great time hearing the stories, the opinions and the perspectives of my Spanish students (and even IN Spanish). Additionally, I learned a significant amount... not just about arranged marriage, but about their relationships with their families, their traditions, the family traditions that they don't like to follow but do out of obligation, the things that they hope to change about their future, their hopes and expectations, and the driving force behind their decision making. I definitely enjoy my AP students and the unique conversations that we have. :)
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