Friday, June 1, 2012


Today was my last day teaching. I'm officially "unemployed".

Oh, the things they do and say...

First graders are so funny. I was fortunate to witness these events, and they honestly just make me belly laugh...

#1. Some parents are talking to Mike in the parking lot as we head home from school in the afternoon. I am waiting... the child is waiting too. Child suddenly rolls up his shorts as far as they possibly can go without seeing his undies and starts grabbing his thigh with his two hands and squeezing... then flexing his thigh and squeezing. It was entertaining to watch and I had to stifle my giggles. However, the best part was when Mike was finishing up his conversation, the child looks up at him, gives his thigh a big squeeze while proclaiming triumphantly, "LOOK at that!"

#2. One afternoon, after finals, I popped by Mike's domain to drop some things off for him. He was just beginning class with one of his first grade classes. Mike introduced me to his class as his wife and the echoing response was, "THAT'S your wife?" One little girl asked if I spoke Thai, which then turned into a guessing game of where I am from & where I was born. When guessing where I was born I got everything from Mexican to Spanish to Hawaiian to Thai. Pretty logical thinking, if you ask me! They were also very confused as to why Mike and I taught at different levels. "But Mr. Mike teaches elementary!" (Translation: you should therefore teach in the elementary because you are married to each other). Mike explained that he wouldn't be a very good Spanish teacher, and I told them that if I were the PE teacher, I would make them run. "We just got done running one lap!" they yelled. "Well, if I were the PE teacher, I'd make you run 20!" I said. {GASPS} all around. I think they were glad to see me leave.

9th grader on the day of the final, before the exam: I forgot my book in my locker. Can I turn it in after the exam?
Me: Minus 50 bazillion points. Guess you'll be failing your final.
9th grader: {look of despair}

Seriously? 50 bazillion points?? You believe me when I say you'll lose 50 bazillion points? I know it's finals, but man... loosen up!


We've had geckos roaming around our abode since the second we stepped foot in Thailand. When we moved to our current apartment, we had tons of them around... I have no idea why!? We ended up catching about 4 of them right away, and over the past 2 years, we've caught at least 2 more. One of the gecko dwellers has been an obnoxious house guest though, leaving droppings on the walls, ceilings, floor, etc. Sometimes they were like explosive gecko diarrhea (EGD), which was beyond annoying to me.

In the past month, I've been on the prowl to capture this elusive poopy gecko (EPG). I thought we had gotten him when we turned on our air con unit and saw him hanging on to dear life as the fan oscillated. Poor thing was practically frozen to death and could not figure out how to get off the oscillating blades. Mike was able to get him on the end of the broom and put him outside. We thought that was the end of EPG and that we had won... however, a few days later, as I was up for my midnight snack, I saw EPG scampering around on the wall.

At 2 in the morning, you don't really think straight though and all I could think about was EPG's blood splattered all over the wall (just as bad as EGD, right?) if I gave him a good thunk with the broom. So... waking Mike up at 2 in the morning seemed like the most logical thing to do, of course! By the time poor Mike was awake enough to understand what was going on, pulled his groggy self out of bed and came out of the bedroom, EPG was nowhere to be seen (surprised?). UG! So it was back to being on the hunt for him.

Two days later, I woke up for my middle of the night meal and once again saw EPG. This time I knew that waking Mike up was probably no the best option, and figured I probably had to take things into my own hands. But the thought of EPG blood over the walls was not very exciting to me. So this tired and hungry pregnant lady got out the broom and chased the rascal all over the apartment, finally cornering him in the bathroom. I did the only thing that I could think of to exterminate him... spray him with as much all purpose cleaner as possible to avoid any blood shed. I don't know if it's worst to die by chemical death or squish death... but needless to say, EPG is no longer. I felt killer's remorse afterwards, but the next day when Mike told me he had cleaned up EPG's EGD off the couch, I didn't feel quite as guilty.

Hopefully the saga is over...