I have been off and on stressing about teaching AP Spanish. I stress because I don't feel equipped as a teacher, and the thought of having my students take an exam to test out of college Spanish classes based on what I have taught them just freaks me out. I guess it scares me because I am actually held accountable to teaching them...not that I wouldn't, but it's hard proof and obviously reflects upon me as a teacher. It's kind of too much responsibility for my little heart to handle at times. But God is always good and calms my fears.
Today God showed me in a very specific and evident way how gracious and giving he is. God brought to mind Matthew 6:25-34, which talks about not worrying because he has thought of every little detail and knows my needs. It is so easy to succumb to worrying and feeling anxious, yet God calls us to cast all our anxieties upon him, because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Every day I see more and more things that make it even more evident that yes, indeed, Thailand is the place he has called us.
So this morning, after recently worrying about teaching AP Spanish, I received an e-mail from Rebel, the high school principal. Yes, that is his first name... can you tell he is from Alabama? :) He has been so good to me and I am really looking forward to working with/for him. He said that there will be 10 students taking AP Spanish (my heart flip-flopped in excitement and terror with the news), and that the school is going to pay for AP Spanish training and transportation/mileage reimbursement. He even found a program for me at the end of June at Carlton College in Northfield, MN! So I get free training! What's even better is that I get continuing-ed credits for taking this class so when I have to re-new my teaching license in 2013, it will be a piece of cake.
I think I had known at one point in time that there was AP training, but during the course of looking at all these different schools, applying, interviewing, studying up on the countries, and trying to figure out the difference between AP and IB, I forgot and decided to stress out about it all instead.
I am thrilled at the chance to get trained in teaching AP Spanish, as I believe it will be a great way to grow professionally and have more challenging career opportunities. I am so thankful that I will not be "thrown" into the classroom to just figure it all out on my own. I know that I will make plenty of mistakes, but how much less fearful I am about the whole situation! Praise God for his gentle reminders of his consistent love and grace for his disobedient and faint hearted children.