Why I Hate to Wait #4

In His loving kindness, God has been showing me how impatient and self-sufficient I am. I like to get from Point A to Point B quickly and efficiently, and I like to think that I can do it by myself, on my own strength. And to be honest, when that doesn't happen, I get frustrated. I get frustrated because my expectations are so different.  I get irritated because I think I know what is best. I get irritated because the situations are out of my control and I simply have to submit and wait on the Lord (and in case you haven’t figured it out by now, I HATE waiting!) I get frustrated essentially because I am not getting what I want, when I want.

Now try telling our SOVEREIGN Lord that He’s not providing what you need, when you need it. Try telling God, who created the heavens and the earth and in whom all things hold together, that He’s wrong. Try explaining to God, who created YOU and who’s timing is perfect, that you know what’s best for you and that waiting isn’t part of your plan.  Try telling our perfect God that you should be in control.

…{sigh} Yep, pretty much been there, done that… not necessarily through my words, but definitely in my actions and thoughts.

God has been so gracious and patient with me as He has been molding me, as a potter does with his clay, to make something beautiful. And a beautiful mess it has been. He certainly is giving me beauty for ashes. And He's showing my tunnel vision- efficiency craving-TO-DO list loving, Type A-ISFJ- meticulous-steadfast-personality that getting from Point A to Point B isn’t always important…sometimes just the journey from Point A to Point B is the more important thing.

But it’s hard because I’m like one of those annoying little kids on a long journey that keeps asking, “Daddy, are we there yet?” and “Daddy, when will get there?” and “Daddy, how much longer?” I remember asking those questions to my own dad when we would take long car trips and his response was usually, “In a while. Why don’t you just look out the window and enjoy the scenery?” {sigh} God’s saying the same thing to me, “Karly, my child, I promise we’ll get there eventually. Right now I just want you to soak up your surroundings. I want you to bask in my love. I want you to take comfort in ME. If I quickly take you from Point A to Point B, you’d miss out on an incredible journey. You’d miss out on seeing ME. Have patience, my child; we’ll there eventually… we’re just taking the scenic route. You might not see it yet, but the scenic route sure is beautiful.”

This morning I read again from "A Shelter in a Storm," which are meditations on Psalm 27.  I read another meditation on verse 14 which says, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.” Part of the meditation that really resonated with me said, "Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what the child will receive at the end of his wait. No, waiting is much more purposefully, efficient, and practical. Waiting is fundamentally about what we will become as we wait.”

So waiting is for my good and for God’s glory. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but there is a purpose behind God’s plan to make me wait Him.

Lord, thank you that you love me enough to walk with me during this time of unknowns and of waiting, as you continue to mold and shape me to be able to better serve and love you. Help me to be grateful for, and take to heart, all the things that you are teaching me on the journey, instead of always waiting and looking to see if I’ve arrived at the set destination. I know I have nothing to offer you… my life is ugly and my heart is full of sin, but I know that you can make something beautiful from the mess that my life is as you continue to sanctify me. Though my heart aches for answers, for immediate responses, for answered prayers, for crossed off TO-DO lists, I know you are doing a mighty work in me and transforming my heart as I wait on you, the giver of all good gifts. Give me beauty for ashes, oil of joy for my mourning, a garment of praise for my spirit of heaviness… that You might be glorified (Isaiah 61:3)