Awkwardly lost

I've reached that awkward point now where I'm that childless soon-to-be mom/stay-at-home wife/homemaker that is becoming a shut-in increasingly immobile as my belly grows in size with 2 babies. Suddenly, I have all this time on my hands. It shouldn't feel that different from summer vacation in a lot of ways, but since Mike has been at back to school meetings all of last week, open house is later this afternoon, school starts tomorrow, and I just can't physically do as much, it does feel drastically different from summer vacation. Part of me is in withdrawal mode from Mike, after having spent all summer with him, and part of me is unsure of how to really be productive now that I am not teaching and am still twin-less. Or perhaps it is withdrawal from an institution of some sort... pre-K through grade 12... undergrad... 8 years of teaching & going to grad school... there really has never been a point where I've been out of the school system once I entered it at 4 years old. And suddenly, there's a part of me that feels a little lost because what was once such a large part of life is no longer playing an essential & major role.

Sure, there are things to do: baby clothing and cloth diapers to wash, MN teaching license to renew, card orders to fill, quiet books to make, books to read, friends to visit, Olympics to watch, and time to rest and rest some more. However, the lack of structure and an actual to-do list  (I think of all the scrambling to get photocopies made, lesson plans complete, e-mails sent, research and create activities) has left me feeling... well, like a fish out of water.

I know, I know... I'm supposed to ENJOY this time; it's the last time I'll actually have time for myself for a very long time. It's not that I'm not trying to enjoy it or make the most of it, it's just that I'm still transitioning and feel a little lost at the moment as I navigate new territory. Now if only I could stock up on hours of sleep & acquire a sleep reserve before the twinks made their debut!