Fear

When we went to our 20 week ultrasound and found out that we were having a boy and a girl, we were thrilled!! Granted, we would have been thrilled no matter the outcome! The doctor seemed quite certain (though there was still a 20% that he could have been wrong due to it still being relatively early and girl/boy bits were still developing) and did a great job explaining how he was quite confident we were having one of each.

We enjoyed 5 weeks in Minnesota over the summer, announced the genders and the names of our little ones. We had two WONDERFUL baby showers for Emma and Owen in MN, in which they were thoroughly loved upon (as well as Mike and me), receiving quite the haul. We managed to pack pretty much all of their booty in four 50 pound suitcases. Upon arriving back in Thailand, I looked again at the ultrasound pictures, and I was suddenly filled with fear... the girl and boy bits pictures looked exactly the same to me! Suddenly, I thought that we were having two boys... and all I could think about was how many pink, girly items we had received at those showers. And how I spent so much time picking out "the perfect" paper to modge podge onto the wood letters to spell their names that we had already hung in the nursery. I even had dreams that we had two boys!

Then to augment my fears a little bit more, my Bangkok friends had a third shower for Owen and Emma before we had another ultrasound at the hospital to confirm that their names were indeed going to be Owen and Emma. Again, we were showered with so many generous gifts, words of wisdom, and lots of love... and many precious pink, girly, ruffley items. (More on shower #3, including pics in another post...)

Needless to say, I was a little bit of a nervous mess this morning when we had our 3rd trimester ultrasound. The doctor checked for boy and girl bits right away, for which I was grateful. He found Owen first, and then I literally held my breath as he checked Baby #2...

...Yes, she is indeed sweet little Emma Caroline.  [Sigh of relief] Their name letters can stay, the pink, fru-fru can stay, and I can still call them Emma and Owen.

They are doing well, wiggling and rolling around like CRAZY... Emma is head down and kicks my ribs constantly, while Owen is breach and is busy kicking my pelvis area. My stomach will ripple from their womb acrobatics and often I will have a head or a butt poke out, making me quite lop-sided. I can't help but laugh at how busy they are, how many times they get the hiccups a day, and the foods they react to each day.

Both babes are just shy of 4 pounds (hooray!!). I sure hope they stay in there another 6 weeks to grow and hopefully reach a good 5+ pounds, but man, I am anxious to meet these precious little gifts!!

More growth

Remember this picture? Yeah me too... the picture where I BARELY look pregnant, but thought I was REALLY starting to show. (Granted, if you compare my 16 week photo to my 6 week photo, there is a DRASTIC difference).

Well... I've definitely grown in the past 11 weeks. This is probably one of my last belly pics that you are privy to, as I will soon get embarrassingly huge with the twinks.

It's been fun to look back at the weekly pictures we've taken (we've taken a weekly pic starting from 6 weeks to now) and see how the twins have grown! I write this post at nearly 29 weeks and I can hardly believe how much growth has already happened in the last 2 weeks!

I'm slowing down more and more these days. The 5 minute walk to school, now takes me a good 15 minutes, I tire easily, and even just putting away a few dishes in various cupboards can make me a little out of breath. Mike is getting used to my pace &  has been gracious through it all... walking at a snail's pace, carrying ALL the grocery bags, helping me out of bed in the morning, massaging my swollen arthritic feeling fingers (did I mention I had to get a fake wedding ring since my rings stopped fitting me about 5 weeks ago?) & going-to-cramp-up-at-any-minute calves, etc. I'm so grateful for a hubby that serves me and is attentive to my needs.

Not that I personally have anything else to compare it to, but I would say that I've had a remarkably easy pregnancy. I think God is being gracious to me, as it's definitely going to get harder in these last weeks, and perhaps a bit chaotic with the arrival of the twins as well. However, despite the relative ease of it all, I think I'm at that tipping point where I'm about ready to be done. I'm comparable in size to a woman who would give birth any day now, which always provokes a lot of awkward stares, random belling touching, and extra tips (walk slowly! be careful! don't do that! eat more! don't eat so much! etc.)  I think there are a few people out there that would wrap me in bubble wrap, if I'd let them... people are funny around pregnant women.

Anyway, more updates (probably sans picture) to come, I'm sure...

Awkwardly lost

I've reached that awkward point now where I'm that childless soon-to-be mom/stay-at-home wife/homemaker that is becoming a shut-in increasingly immobile as my belly grows in size with 2 babies. Suddenly, I have all this time on my hands. It shouldn't feel that different from summer vacation in a lot of ways, but since Mike has been at back to school meetings all of last week, open house is later this afternoon, school starts tomorrow, and I just can't physically do as much, it does feel drastically different from summer vacation. Part of me is in withdrawal mode from Mike, after having spent all summer with him, and part of me is unsure of how to really be productive now that I am not teaching and am still twin-less. Or perhaps it is withdrawal from an institution of some sort... pre-K through grade 12... undergrad... 8 years of teaching & going to grad school... there really has never been a point where I've been out of the school system once I entered it at 4 years old. And suddenly, there's a part of me that feels a little lost because what was once such a large part of life is no longer playing an essential & major role.

Sure, there are things to do: baby clothing and cloth diapers to wash, MN teaching license to renew, card orders to fill, quiet books to make, books to read, friends to visit, Olympics to watch, and time to rest and rest some more. However, the lack of structure and an actual to-do list  (I think of all the scrambling to get photocopies made, lesson plans complete, e-mails sent, research and create activities) has left me feeling... well, like a fish out of water.

I know, I know... I'm supposed to ENJOY this time; it's the last time I'll actually have time for myself for a very long time. It's not that I'm not trying to enjoy it or make the most of it, it's just that I'm still transitioning and feel a little lost at the moment as I navigate new territory. Now if only I could stock up on hours of sleep & acquire a sleep reserve before the twinks made their debut!